Thank you, Mr Zuckerberg!

Thanks to your data-collecting and data-selling Facebook machine, I’m a happy man.

CEO of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg testifies before the House of Representatives
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg testifies before the House of Representatives on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC on April 11, 2018 [Anadolu]

Dear Mr Zuckerberg,

I saw snippets of your testimony in front of the US Congress – nice tie!

I could not watch the whole thing (you know, unlike those useless politicians who were questioning you, I work for a living). But from what I saw and subsequently read, you were being grilled for using our data from our Facebook pages (mine included I suppose) and selling them to the highest bidder. Apparently, that’s how you became a billionaire. Praise be to Allah – as they say in Brooklyn – or Mazel tov: take your pick!

All the power to you, Brother Mark! I have no problem with that. Please go right ahead and use all the data on my Facebook and sell them to whoever you want. I think neither Israelis nor Iranians nor indeed Arab potentates or American Neocons will have any use for it. If they do – ahlan wa sahlan! You’d owe me nothing for it. Enjoy your billions, but please share it with others. Sharing is caring, as Brother Karl said. 

As you must know better than any one of those dim-witted legislators interrogating you, you have created a behemoth, the unfolding monstrosity of which is beyond even your own imagination. You are Victor Frankenstein of the Internet. I am totally cool with that. After all, we live in a time when for every sneeze we have in New York, an intelligence officer in China, Russia, Iran, or Israel says “Gesundheit!” God only knows in how many languages.

The sore losers, the Democrats, are up in arms that the social networking platform you and your fellow-geeks in the Silicon Valley developed was used and abused by the Russians to put a dangerously incompetent man in the most powerful office on this godforsaken planet.

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You did no such thing, sir. Quite to the contrary: you helped expose the rotten roots of an outdated and dysfunctional political system they call “American democracy”. Kudos for that Brother Mark!

Whatever Facebook and the Russians did or did not do during the summer of 2016 did not cause Hillary Clinton to lose the elections. Hillary Clinton was the reason Hillary Clinton lost. Tell anyone telling you otherwise to go read Donna Brazile’s excellent book, Hacks: The Inside Story of the Break-ins and Breakdowns That Put Donald Trump in the White House, in which she exposes how incurably corrupt both the Clinton clan and the Democratic Party are.

You know who helped get Donald Trump elected? Sheldon Adelson did – the Zionist businessman who openly and proudly gave millions of dollars to Trump’s campaign and got a lovely seat right behind him when he was inaugurated. But you never hear anyone of those politicians in the deep pocket of US Zionists utter a word about that. No country on planet Earth has kidnapped and occupied the US political system like the Israeli settler colony has – but mum is the world on that treachery.

To the degree that the Russians did use your platform to collect data to fool people into voting for Trump – there is a poetic justice, a karma, in that too. Do you know in how many countries the US has interfered, militarily and otherwise, to divert and distort their electoral democracy? Google it if you don’t.

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Let me add something else, Brother Mark: “the Western media,” as they call themselves, had a monopoly over how we were to read the world. They were the culprit of abusing facts to twist the truth – BBC and New York Times are the masters of this gimmickry. New York Times helped George W Bush fool a whole nation to approve the invasion of Iraq. The shenanigans of the BBC, on the other hand, continue supporting the settler colonial project in Palestine. And they have the audacity to talk of “fake news” and “alternative facts”.

Without your Facebook, we would have had no chance to strike back at them. Thank you, sir, for that! I developed ulcer and shingles from the New York Times coverage of the Iranian revolution back in the 1970s when there was no Facebook. Now I wake up from a nightmare of Nikki Haley at the UN, and write a post on my Facebook, friends and total strangers see it and discuss it, and I go about my business like a civilised human being without fuming with anger. I owe you lots of money for therapy sessions that I would have needed had I not had a space like Facebook where I can blow off some steam.

As you surely know, I am a big-time Facebook user. I have almost 70,000 people on my page, for which I have not had to pay a penny. They tell me you collect my data and you sell it to companies so they can sell their products to me more effective – go right ahead! My data is all yours to use. Those advertisers have nothing to sell me. And in case you are selling my data to the CIA, Shin Bet, or the Iranian or Syrian mokhabarat – go for it, I hope they put a task force together, read what I write and come to their senses. 

In exchange for my data, you, Sir, have given me peace of mind and active solidarity with decent people from around the globe.

In a million years I would not have thought my little voice would have such a global echo – from Argentina to South Africa, from Morocco to India, from New York to Tokyo – that gives nightmare to talentless Zionist propaganda officers from Philadelphia to Tel Aviv, or to corrupt potentates from Riyadh to Cairo to Tehran.

You, Brother Mark, have made me a happy man to know that there are so many people thinking like I do around the globe, waving at me when I give BBC a piece of my mind!

I sincerely thank you Mr Zuckerberg for that! All the power to you!

Sincerely Yours,

Hamid

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.