An open letter to Sepp Blatter

Dear Mr Blatter,

With respect to your position as president of Fifa, football’s world governing body, I wish to express my anger at your refusal to introduce a simple piece of technology that would end the misery that has tainted this World Cup.

What happened at England’s second-round match against Germany in Bloemfontein last night was a disgrace.

I was there, I paid $200 for my ticket, and I met countless other fans who felt the same.

When Germany went two goals up in the second half, it was going to take an extraordinary comeback for our beloved Three Lions to have any chance.

Yet you ensured I couldn’t see that comeback.

Because I was in the toilets at the time.

Now wouldn’t it have been so simple to install TV screens above each urinal, and on each cubicle door?

That way, after storming from my seat after Germany’s second goal, I could have witnessed Matthew Upson’s header immediately afterwards that made it 2-1.

Instead, I was left powerless as the cheers rang above my head.

I got back just in time to confirm from the scoreboard that I had travelled all this way to the Free State Stadium to miss England scoring against our greatest rivals.

I was so upset that I had to skulk down to the concourse to de-stress with an official World Cup lager.

And what happened then? More cheers. Yes, Frank Lampard had scored, only to have his effort ruled out despite the ball being well over the line.

(You might want to look at this too. Perhaps the ball could be covered in orange paint, so you can see where it bounces in the goal after hitting the bar?)

If you had insisted that the South Africa 2010 organisers had installed Toiletvision™ instead of wasting millions of dollars on security, transport and the nurturing of young football talent, I could have contently sat – or stood – and watched the rest of the match in comfort without ever having to return to my seat.

And I wouldn’t have missed the only good bits of our record 4-1 thrashing.

I eagerly await your response.

Yours sincerely,

Paul Rhys

http://twitter.com/Paul_Rhys_Sport