Rachel: ‘I feel a lot of emptiness inside me’

Rachel looks after the orphans and children at Masika’s centre who have been rejected because they were conceived through rape. She herself was a product of rape. Her mother, Masika, had been abused by a teacher at school and became pregnant. She was 15, the exact same age as Rachel when she was raped. Soon after the rape she discovered that she was pregnant. She gave birth to a boy and called him Stevie.

Witness Extra

Field of Hope   Surviving against all odds   Desange: ‘I wanted to kill myself’   Rachel: ‘I feel a lot of emptiness inside me’   A rapist’s child   Masika: ‘It’s not the end of the world’

“I had dreams of going to school, of becoming a lawyer. That was my dream. But everything was shattered after what happened to me.

I feel like mine is a cursed generation. My mum is getting raped and having me, then me raped and having Stevie. In fact, I feel a lot of emptiness inside me.

I got to a point of wanting to kill Stevie and going to join the army. I don’t like him at all. I see children happy with their fathers and mothers, then look here. I look at my son with no one to call dad and I feel so sad.

I feel really bad inside and think what my life could have been by now I would have had at least two more children after Stevie. So when I think of this, I hate Stevie.

Life has changed in a good way for him and for me. Before, if he asked for anything, even if I had it I wouldn’t give it to him. But today he can ask me for sandals and I’ll do my best to give them to him. You can see that life has truly changed.”

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